Happy birthday to me!

Life is good.
I've been climbing in boxes, tearing up colorful paper, and pushing the buttons on all kinds of noisy toys.
I went galloping on a rocking horse, vrooming with cars and trucks, and chuggachugging with trains.
My whole family came over, and I got to giggle and play with my cousin, and then they let me make a mess with a chocolate cupcake.

And now...I can walk!

I can stand!

Check. Me. Out.

!!!!

I can stand all by myself! I know, I know, nobody was as surprised as I was -- somebody let go of my hands and I just....stood there! Even better, the next day I was standing at the coffee table and Mama said "walkie walkie" and held out her arms, and I walked to her! Three whole steps! (Well, two and a half...the third was really more of a lunge. I like to test their reflexes.)

Other news: Everybody's getting all wound up about something called "Christmas." No idea what that's all about, except it seems to involve putting lights and sparkly things on the house and the trees outside, and Mom spending more time in the kitchen making things that smell good. Oh, and people leaving all kinds of interesting things for me to find on the floor...crumply paper and sticky tape, balls of yarn and ribbon, boxes with stuff inside. I keep waiting for them to let me have those scissor things, those are fascinating. So far they keep them up high though.

Oh, and we went to this place...it was so strange. Let me see if I can describe it. It was nighttime, and there was music there and a lot of people. Some of the people were real people, and some of them were these things on the grass with lights on them that said "Ho Ho Ho" or "Merry Christmas." And the big round building had this spinning thing with wooden animals on it that we sat on, to ride around in circles. I thought that was a little weird at first (plus I hadn't had my nap), but Mom seemed to be having fun. I spent most of my time staring at the gears and levers that make the things go.

Vacation.

Vacations are fun.
We went to this new place -- me and Mama and Papa, all three of us, and nobody had to go to work. First we went into this big room full of lots of people sitting on seats you could climb on and peek over and fall between, with beeping sounds and loud vroom sounds and little moving pictures outside the windows. That was boring.

Then we went to a place that had new beds and new furniture and a lot of my toys were there. And the stairs had no safety gate! That was awesome except they kept putting boxes in my way and not letting me climb them.

There was a balcony and Grandpa and I watched "birdies" and "surfers." I like the birdies better, because they fly, and eat my cheerios that I threw on the floor.

Papa and Oma took me swimming in the big square bathtub thing. That was sort of cold, but I thought my fishy liked it so I threw him in again and again.

Then we went to the place with waves. At first, I thought they were telling me to wave at the big water, so I did, but they kept laughing. I don't know why they make words so complicated -- seems like as soon as I learn what something means, they change it. No fair.

Anyway, at the first place the waves were too big and loud so I was scared. But I played in the sand, that was fun. Later, we went to another place where the waves were just my size, and not scary at all! I practiced walking in them, holding on to the grownups' hands, and it was so so so fun! I was super proud of myself, stepping up high with my feet, and laughing and yelling all my words, like "TURTLEDAWDLE done dah dah DOWN ba ba ma namama."

There was just so much new stuff to do. It would have been even better, except my mouth hurt! I just wanted to bite things all the time, the table and the high chair and anything I could find, but nothing made it feel better. Except ice. Mmmmm, ice. It's cold, but it feels good, so I yelled and attacked everybody's drinks until they let me have some.

Stairs

Stairs are FASCINATING.

I can go up them, super fast, and stealthy like a ninja. Mom had her back turned in the downstairs hallway, and by the time she turned back, I was GONE...up the stairs and around the corner, sitting on the landing. She was so surprised!

I can also go down them.

That's super fast, too.

Mom always says "NO!" when I touch the safety gate, but this morning I pushed and it was open! And the stairs looked so exciting, so I leaned way over...

"thumpety-thumpety-thump"

...

"thumpety-thump."


aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

that was SCARY!
and then Mom got all screamy and started hugging me and she was crying too, and that was even scarier.

But then I remembered that I wanted to go play with the refrigerator magnets, and eat some cheerios. So I did.

This kid looks nice. If I could vote, I think I would have voted for him. Plus, his name sounds kind of like "mama."

I got to go to mama's work today. I like work. Lots of nice ladies come see you and say nice things to you and play with you and carry you around, and then you get to explore under desks and office chairs, until mom keeps you from pushing the big red button on the power strip extension cord thingy.

It's all becoming clear to me now

The incoherent babbling of the big-heads is starting to make sense. I feel like I've discovered intelligent life on another planet -- they can communicate!!!

Just this morning, I was hungry and unhappy, and the one called Papa started making those mouth-noises. I looked at him, and concentrated as hard as I could, and what I heard was this:

"Aaarrrr yoooooo looking for ya boddle? Itsin thakitcha, rememba?"

I remembered him making that "boddle" sound before, for food. Eureka! And "kitcha" is a sound he makes in the yellow room -- the same one he was waving at with his arm!

So I plopped down to the floor and crawled into the yellow room, and there it was! On the floor! FOOD!

Amyumyumyum slurp.

Presidents? Thbthhhhhbthhh

I got to watch one of those big, fascinating boxes with the moving pictures on the front.
There were people in it.
Mom and Dad really wanted to watch it too -- I know, because they tried to keep me busy by letting me dump out an entire jar full of cheerios in my playpen. Wheee! Slipping and sliding and munching umyummuymm.

I did get a little bored, though. And then this one man came on the screen and started talking, and I decided to shout "ABABA! OBABA! ABAMA!" and everybody laughed.

Then another guy came on the screen and started talking, and I decided to blow spit out through my lips like this: "Thbbthhhbthhbthhhhbthhh!!!"

Everybody laughed some more, and mom hugged me a lot.
Whatever. Grownups are weird.

And now, they call me

Bear, Sleepy Bear, Grumpy Bear
Mauserich (German, something about a mouse)
Squirt (this one has stuck...and now my 3-year-old cousin calls me "Thkuurt")
Roomba (because I tend to crawl in one direction as fast as I can until I meet an obstacle, then I change direction and go as fast as I can again, picking up whatever dustbunnies, leaves, or cheerios might happen to be along my path)

They moved my crib.

I'm a little grumpy about this. I had this great pastime, watching people out the second-story window of my room while Mom thought I was napping. I was pretty sly about it, too -- she'd lay me down, draw the curtains, and think I was sound asleep, but I'd sneak over to the window, pull the curtain aside, and stand up peeting over the edge of the crib and waving and smiling at the street below. I guess maybe she was worried I'll learn how to climb out of my crib and end up jumping out the window...but mostly I think she wants to force me to nap when I don't want to. Tyrannical overlord that she is.

My upper teeth are FINALLY coming in.
And I loooove cheerios. And bananas. And saying "AMYAMYAMYUMMM" and "OBAAAMAAA"

(Nobody, nobody has ever heard me say "McCain." And with good reason.)

Nursing Strike!

Fellow babies, hear me now:
We are born into this world, and we see we are small. We are helpless, we are dependent; we are surrounded by the large forces that control our destinies, and they seem all-powerful.

But there comes a time when we must look around us, and realize we can no longer lie idly by, and suckle at the teat of dependency.

There comes a time when we must recognize the wrongs done us: those power cords and beer bottles that were kept just out of our reach; those earrings taken from our grasp; those dirty diapers that were stolen from us.

There comes a time when we cannot go quietly to our cradles, milk-drunk and compliant in the arms of oppression.

There comes a time when all the parenting becomes so odious that we must resist!

And so I say to you, act now! Throw your head back, let loose your loudest screams! Seize the means of milk production! Take matters into your own hands! Sink your teeth into the nipples of injustice!

THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE PACIFIED.

Crawlin'

Whooee, I can CRAWL! At least that what Mom and Papa are calling it. As far as I'm concerned, it may as well be called "ZOOM=SPEEDO=KAZAM!=ing"

It's so, soooo awesome.
Now, when I want to, I can get to things before they think I can.
That dangling laptop cord? MINE.
The phone handset, with its lovely germs and blinky lights? TOTALLY MINE.
Mom's dozing eyeball? In my MOUTH.

(OK, that last one has less to do with crawling and more to do with my carnivore instincts and lightning-quick pouncing)

Oh, and the other night? Mom peeled a peach and let me have it all to myself. And, let me tell ya, I DEMOLISHED that thing. My two super duper bottom teeth are like RAZORS, I love 'em. And sinking them into things is the best feeling, especially things that taste good.

And...I've figured out how to make mom pay attention to me. I just put my lips together and go "MMMMmmmmmaamamamaa." I'm telling you, she lights up like a Christmas tree.

Tumbling, crawling, jumping, diving

Wow, I can get myself in WAY more trouble, now!

I can cover a lot of ground backwards and sideways -- basically the whole living room is available to me if mom turns her back for a minute or two. Forward works, too -- I figured out I can sort of jump my way forward from crawling position, like a bunny hops. But it's enough work that I only do it when I REALLY want to reach something, like an intriguing laptop power cord.

I'm eating all kinds of fun stuff now, including beets and swiss chard. Mom seems to get a kick out of steaming and pureeing anything she can get her hands on in the organic produce aisle, and I'm indulging her new hobby. The beets were especially fun, since I ended up looking like a freshly-mangled zombie baby (I grabbed the spoon and gave myself a quick hair, face and clothing makeover). Maybe a Halloween costume possibility?

I love dangling upside-down, arching my back off of laps and out of arms. I think it's funny when people are startled by this (they seem to worry about me falling onto the concrete. I can't imagine what their problem is, though, it looks like fun to me.)

Teething bites.

Well, no more sleeping through the night this last week or two -- at least not without that awful grape baby tylenol. But I have a tooth! Or really more of an edge...definitely enough to get some traction on those rubber spoons, and enough to really bother mom when I try it out while nursing.

And I have totally mastered getting into crawling position, and rocking back and forth...sometimes I get so much momentum going, I almost look like I'm going to take off. But then either my legs shoot out from under me and I go backward (usually), or I land on my face going forward (rarely). The backwards motion happens even more when I'm excited...like, say, when I'm trying to reach something right in front of me. And I go backward. Yeah. Not so happy about that.

I roll all over the place now. Roll roll roll. Especially off of the foam futon mattress mom set up as a play area.

These days, I enjoy:
apricot goop
oatmeal banana pear goop
carrot goop
being in papa's backpack
stabbing things and people with my thumb repeatedly
playing horsey rider on a knee
grass
sand
tummy zerberts/raspberries
blowing spit bubbles with my cousin and grinning

Oh, and I have a new baby cousin! Lillian! I haven't seen her yet, but I think I will probably like her a lot.

So much so fast!

I like bananas, and sweet potato, and pear.
I don't like carrots.
I like avocado sometimes.

I can now squirm my way around the living room floor. Nobody better drop a coin in here, or it's MINE.

I can roll front to back , and back to front, but I make most of my forward progress by getting on my side and arching my back a whole lot.

I make sounds that are kind of like "hi" and "awamama" sometimes, but it's not really on purpose.

And I sleep through the night!!! Usually about 8:30pm - 6am! My mom is thrilled.

Our favorite time of day right now is the first hour or two after I wake up in the morning. We cuddle in bed, I get to nurse, and we both doze off for a while. Then, the second time I wake up, I'm all happy and quiet and love to play with the blankets and roll around. Sometimes I wake her up by touching her face and singing a little song "bee boo aaawiibaa".

OH, and I went to the playground! I went on a swing for the first time (well actually the second, but I didn't like it the first time). And I ate some sand! (Dad let me, while mom got wild-eyed and said things like "toxoplasmosis" and "neighborhood kitty litterbox")

Life sure is fun right now.

Steps, bonks and squirts

I took five steps in a row, holding mom's hands! I'm a precocious little wonderboy!


But I bonked my head a couple of times in the last two days, mainly because mom keeps trying to respond to me too quickly (fork falls from carried plate, lands on forehead), or trying to carry me when I'm fussy even though she has to do something else too (her head bonks into mine because I'm thrashing about, being unhappy). She seems to feel really bad about it, though, and has slowed down and lets fuss a little longer when she has to.

I've started solid food, too! Rice cereal is yummy, and STICKY. I'm figuring out how to keep my little tongue out of the way, but I love it so much i keep grabbing for the spoon myself.

One great thing about being a modern baby: the "Squirt" refilling feeding spoon It's basically a squeezable bulb attached to a spoon -- so mom doesn't have to dip the spoon into the food, but instead just squeezes between bites. Very helpful with a baby like me, since she can't shovel it in fast enough to keep me happy. And itminimizes the dribble mess.

They still have to muck out and disinfect my neck creases after every meal, though :)

swimming!

Oh man, oh man Swimming is AWESOME.

I love the water. Its been really warm here, so I've been spending more time in tubs, in my duckie bath, and now...a SWIMMING POOL.

I loved it. It was really loud, because there were like thirty babies there with their parents, but it was warm and they sang fun songs and I got to SPLASH. And at the end they had toy time, which I spent chasing around a big rubber ducky and trying to eat it.

My new skills now include:
rolling over
sitting with help from my arms
pulling down mom's neckline when I want to be near food
crowing with glee
pinching, especially necks and faces
holding my own bottle about half the time
rotating on my tummy, so I can turn in circles
raising my bottom, then my chest, and ALMOST getting them both off the ground at the same time (to crawling position...but not quite)

Still eating that toy

It's kind of shaped like an ice cream cone -- big ball on top, little stem at the bottom -- and I've been jamming it into my drooly face for over ten minutes now. My cheeks are glistening, and my little tongue is lolling all over it, and intermittently Im giggling with glee. This is SO. MUCH. FUN.

I just got back from a road trip. I'm glad I don't have to be in the car anymore. I've actually graduated up to a bigger car seat already -- now instead of riding in a confining little egg, I'm in this big boy car seat that lets me move around a lot more. It's kind of fun.

I roll over onto my bely with ease, now, whenever I want to. I especially want to when I'm feeling bad, or when I want to sleep. And i'm getting closer to crawling...I can sort of scootch around a little bit now, by just scrambling with my legs and dragging my face along whatever surface I'm lying on. It's not very efficient, though -- I should probably start trying to use my arms.

I am drooling buckets, and chomping on anything I can fit my gums around. It's pretty clear I'm teething, althogh Mom says it's early for that (what does she know, anyway? She's an amateur at this!)

Oh, and I might have allergies. The last two days the pollen count has been really high, and Daddy's nose has been explosive...and now all of a sudden I'm clawing at my nose and eyes, and they're sort of red. Dang. I was hoping that was one trait I could avoid inheriting.

I can eat it

I am trying to eat the toys on my swing chair.
It's a lot of work. They are big toys.
I have to open my mouth reeeeally wide, and then bobble my head around so that I get a good angle on them.
Then I just sort of smash them into my slobbery face.
I am starting to get frustrated that it hasn't worked yet.
It's been a lot of work -- I've already spit up twice, and pooped loudly once, from the effort.
Now I think I will start crying so mom will get me.

Intrepid traveler me

In the last week and a half, I have been on/in:
Three taxis
Four airplanes
One paddlewheel steamboat
Two ferry boats
One bicycle trailer
Two BART trains
One horse-drawn carriage
and one sailboat.

I have been a busy guy. My family has been a busy family! But I didn't really mind -- the biggest problem is that now home is sort of boring. I seem to get kind of restless after just an hour or two here. Can you blame me?

Also: aquariums are totally awesome. It's like the world invented fish just for my entertainment.

I slept throught the night!

Last night I got sleepy really early, and tried to go to bed at 7:30. Mom was worried I wouldn't be able to sleep long, though, so she tried to wake me up at 9 -- no dice, I just ate and wanted to go back to sleep right away. In the contest of wills that ensued, I won.

And then I slept until 7am! I could tell she was excited -- I was just lying there in my crib, staring at the blinds, cooing happily this morning when she came running in with a big grin on her face and started telling me how wonderful I am. Then I went to mom and dad's bed, nursed a lot, and tried to eat Dad's face for half an hour. Life is good.

New things I also enjoy include Peek-A-Boo, and the baby in the mirror. At first, I laughed at the baby in the mirror and wanted to be closer -- now I laugh at first and then get all bashful and hide in mom's shoulder.

I'm also getting really good at rolling onto my side. I do it most often when I have a stuffed animal to wrestle with -- I wrap my arms and legs up over it, curl up my back, bury my face in it with a fierce bite, and fall over sideways. I am told it's very cute.

I slept in my own room!

I slept in my crib, in my own room last night. This change bothered me much less than it bothered Mom. She was up half the night just straining to hear any noises I might be making, and imagining all kinds of terrible nighttime things that might happen (suffocation, freezing to death, electrical fire started by he space heater). But nothing happened, I just woke up to eat twice as usual and then was ready for playtime around dawn. And this morning when she changed me out of a super wet diaper, I peed on her, the table, and the wall (including a nice painting my cousin made, which I kind of miss now.)

Stand-up comedy

I can stand up. I mean, I do need help -- a pair of fingers to grab onto, that will help pull me where I want to go -- but I can do it. And standing up is soooo cool. Almost as good as sitting (which I can also do, with assistance.

In both cases, I get an awesome elevated view of my surroundings, which I can check out by bobbling my giant head from side to side. Since I'm upright, I can also burp (and spit up, and drool) quite well. With some interesting results, given the height.

And my little baby abs are getting hard as rocks, since I do this all over...and over...and over...and over...

and when mom lets me plop back onto soft pillows each time, it makes me grin all goofy.

I am hyooooge!

According to the doctor at my two-month checkup today, I am healthy and doing great. I got all his immunizations (ow oww owwwwww) including a new one for meningcoccal meningitis, which sounds scary so I'm glad to get some protection.
They weighed and measured and poked and prodded me, and apparently my growth is 90th percentile for weight, 98th percentile for height! I tower over the other babies! And I'm doing all the developmental stuff I should be -- smiling, tracking faces, responding to voices, etc.

Hooray for healthy me!

It used to not bother me when they took my temperature, but now it really really REALLY does. And I've been eating more and sleeping less the last few days...mom's hoping it's just a growth spurt, but we'll see. Before that, I was getting close to sleeping through the night...

Seven weeks old - and smiling!

I turned seven weeks old on Saturday. My new skills include pulling mom's hair, scooting up onto my knees when I've been on my tummy, and finding and eating my hands. I have also figured out that if I kick my feet and wave my hands around wildly while sitting in the bouncy chair, it....BOUNCES! This provides hours of entertainment every day -- OK maybe just one hour or so.
I like belly time more and more. I have this one really cool blanket that somebody knitted, with sheep and checkers and little ribbons on it. It's soft and snuggly and very interesting to look at.
And I like showers! They're SO much better than baths! Dad holds onto me the whole time, and mom just soaps me down while he rinses me off. Then mom catches me in the towel, and puts me in front of the super awesome heater thing, that blows hot air all over me. Usually I get so relaxed that I pee. It's sooooo nice.

Boot Camp

Today was Day 2 of my SIDS-avoidance training.
Mom invented it (she may have been a little spooked by something she read on the American Academy of Pediatrics website).
She puts me on my belly on the baby mat and makes me turn my head from side to side by talking to me from different parts of the room. All that head-lifting is giving me a strong neck!
When I'm lying on her tummy, she hlds my hands so I can do baby-pushups, and lets me push off of her legs with my feet to crawl upward.
And every time we're on the diaper table, she puts a little flat plushy cloth doll over my face and makes me thrash around until I either get it off, or get frustrated enough to start crying. It sounds like torture, but I actually enjoy it -- if I'm being fussy it makes me stop crying whyle I concentrate on trying to get it off. I'm getting better, too -- I've grabbed hold of it a couple of times, and have succeeded in knocking it off of my face enough to stare at the picture on the wall next to me. I think I impressed her today with all the back-arching and leg-kicking I did, too -- she's been religiously strapping me to the diaper table whenever she has to turn around.

I am so grown up.

In the last week, I started focusing on things that are way farther away -- like all the way at the ceiling. I started being able to really bat at my toys, and I even hit them about half the time. I figured out how to grab onto mom's necklaces, hair, and shirts -- awesome! Except she stopped wearing the necklaces (so the pawn shop plan will have to wait).

I'm awake, alert, and I even entertain myself for up to an hour at a time sometimes! Today I did that outside, in my bouncy chair, while mom and uncle Chris did some gardening. It was fun!

Weird happenings

Mom just finished reading me my first story, "Sleeping Ugly." It's a fairy tale about a prince that decides to kiss Plain Jane instead of Miserella (the princess that is beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside). I was patient through the whole thing (well, I was nursing), and then she read the last three pages super fast so I wouldn't fuss.

and they call me

the Kidlet
Puppybutt
Captain Hiccups
Hoover the Ravenous
Squirt


the humiliation has only begun, I fear.

Likes and dislikes

Things I like:
christmas tree lights
blinds, especially in the morning
my swing
milk
sleeping on people
space heaters

Things I don't like:
Wet diapers
waiting
Dad's stubbly chin
cold
my car seat when not in motion (see "waiting," above)
baths

I probably weigh a little over ten pounds by now. I eat a lot, and often. In the evenings I get all crampy and upset sometimes, because all the air I've swallowed in my enthusiastic gaspimh and gulpimg tends to build up in my tummy and make me miserable. Thrn somebody -- usually dad -- makes me do lrg exercises and stretch out on my back -- which I hate, and I always let them know -- but eventually thry tug on one foot or the other and I let the bubbles out. Loudly. And then I feel better.

On being two weeks old

I have gotten more adept with my hands. They rarely stab me in the eyes anymore, and while I still lke to claw at my cheeks with them while I nurse (in these little ecstatic spasms of self-destruction), I don't think they're much of a real danger.

My poop has gone from black to green to yellow to brownish-yellow, much to the ridiculous rejoicing of my parents. I expell it with vigor and style, and often quite a bit of noise.

I have become a champion at nursing, too, venturing under the nipple even first thing in the morning when I know full well I'll be opening the floodgates of those throbbing orbs. Sometimes I do get overwhelmed and my frantic and audible gulping can't keep up, so I sputter and take a rest, sometimes to cry for a frustrated moment. Dad refers to this as "drinking from the fire hose."

whoops crying break...

I like the Baby Bjorn frontpack carrier; I usually fall asleep in it within a few minutes, even when I'm pretty beside myself with hoarse, bellowing baby rage.

Then I sleep. Gasping, wheezy, active sleep, in which I periodically raise both hands to the sky like I am directing the characters in my dreams to dance! dance!

Sometimes the transition from bellowing to sleep is so abrupt that it's really mid-cry, and I fall asleep with my angry little fists still up by my face, my head lolling backward with my little red cheeks all puffed out and my mouth suddenly relaxed into a surprised and sleepy "O."

Observations on life outside the womb

It gets cold out here. I don't like that at all. I also don't like baths, even though they are sort of warm and wet...like my soiled diapers, which I also don't like having changed. Maybe I just dont like being clean.

I do like christmas tree lights, and any other multicolored lighting wonders. And patterns -- mom's polkadot pajamas, dad's plaid shirt, whatever. I like mom's milk, a lot -- so much so that sometimes I do get a little overexcited and swallow a bunch of air. I like long hair, although I'm not coordinated enough to really grab onto it...yet.

I really like sleeping on people. It's so, so, so much better than sleeping by myself. First there's the body heat, and the heartbeat, and the breathing...heck, I even like daddy's snoring. Even when it's right next to my ear.

I have a bad habit already: I like to lull grownups into thinking I am stable and calm and sleeping on their shoulder, balanced and sexure...and then I suddenly muster all my strength and dive head-first in whatever direction is most dangerous. Scares the hell out of them...and out of my mom, who thinks I'm going to break my neck.

Most of the time, I like driving...it puts me to sleep. But every once in a while, I really hate the car seat.

I don't like my room. But that's because the only time I really spend in it is when daddy's changing my diapers and clothes...NOT my favorite activities. In fact, I think of it as the "baby torture chamber." So I go ahead and get upset as soon as we go in there, just to let them know that I'm wise to their sinister plans.

Still, being out here is pretty nice. Beats being born...that was uncomfortable!

And here I am!

Birth was sort of rough. I did my part -- in the middle of a strong contraction, I punched right through and broke mom's water. SPLOOOSH. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite the easy waterslide entry into the world I was hoping for, but 8 hours later I took my first breath and gave a hearty yell.

So far, breastfeeding is my favorite thing. I also like to practice karate moves with my hands and feet, and I have perfected a shifty-eyed avoidant gaxe for those moments when my parents are trying to figure out what's going on in my head.